One can find countless quotes on what it means to become a man from the humorous and profane to the solemn and profound. Part of what it must mean is the gradual reduction of rash choices and putting as much distance as possible between each one. St. Paul said it best, “When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.” Transitioning from “childish” mode to “manhood” mode is not the simple flip of a switch.
There is no magic age that awards one a frameable “Manhood Achievement” certificate. Drive a car at sixteen; vote and join the military at eighteen; legally smoke and drink at twenty-one; get an education, secure employment, and eventually find a mate. No milestone assures manhood. Too often young men idolize podcasters, billionaires, and celebrities hoping by emulation a masculine affirmation is found that they lack in themselves. Add the mix-messages from damaged familial influences, the current societal behaviors, squirrely politics, and faulty religion, all can contribute to a young man appearing like an oil portrait: visually attractive on the outside but bewildered and lost on the inside.
My long slog to manhood resembles the character of Pilgrim in John Bunyan’s “The Pilgrim’s Progress.” Many foolish choices and wrong turns landed me in dark places with no sense of direction. I needed rescue, and as I look back on that phase in my life, I didn’t even recognize my need for rescue. My father did. I believe rescuing came so natural to him that he was not even aware when he activated the impulse. He would only articulate how he came by such an ingrained virtue of his soul as God-implanted.
I was fortunate to have a godly father who loved me and held out his hands to grasp me. While it took some years to rescue me from the “slough of despond,” he never let go, and so began the painful molting of my childish ways into becoming a man.
Until his death, Dad and I did so many creative things together: stage plays, audio recordings, film. He even directed two of my original plays premiering each one at Lipscomb University. I will never grow tired of hearing people say after seeing me perform, “You are so much like your Dad,” or “I saw Buddy up there tonight.” I hope I am like my dad in most respects. I hope they see “Buddy” on and off the stage. I know in the case of my father, I agree with Solomon who wrote in Proverbs 17:6 that “…the glory of sons is their fathers.”
