When I was age twenty there was a lot of raging going on in this country: Vietnam, Civil Rights, street riots, burning buildings, mass demonstrations on college campuses with multiple killings—remember Kent State (white kids murdered)? Remember Jackson State (black kids murdered)?
Those were the daily headlines back then. There was a “famine in the land” for a true word. I am over seven decades into this life, and I can say with King Solomon, there is nothing new under the sun. We still rage. We are still brutal. Our souls are wasting away because our conversations lack true words.
We are complex human beings. The fabric of our souls is thin and woven together with delicate threads. The space between us can be measured in widths of hair follicles. When I meet and converse with people who might be different from me in so many ways, I still hope for a human-to-human connection. Each time we meet and with each conversation, a layer of human connection is added and we take a step closer to true fellowship.
There is a spiritual component at play here. It is more than just reaching across the divide. It is a giving up, a losing of oneself. Self-help is not the way. It is self-sacrifice. Jesus said if you want to find yourself, you have to lose yourself. It is a divine paradox that defies all manner of personal vanities, defies all the raging for those self-important rights and privileges. And it is hard work. Sacrifice always is.
We are capable of civility. It begins with conversations that are equal parts listening and speaking, equal parts conviction and empathy, and equal parts understanding and forgiveness. We all desire it. We must first be willing to offer it.
On the surface, many conversations may not have the qualities of what we expect from long-term friendships. But kind words spoken are the forays into a deepening relationship. It is the frequency of encounters that matters. It is the generosity of spirit that counts. It is the respect and dignity we offer each other by pausing in our day to look each other in the eye and speak kind words and blessing.
