I love when I’m given the opportunity to do a play. I’m liberated to use my Outside Voice without fear of Kay’s disapproval or from a host of others who consider my volume level an infringement on their personal auditory space. During rehearsals and performances I tramp about the world, my mind and body conjuring my character, my voice modulating in tones and qualities searching for the right physical and vocal nuances that will lend emotional truth to my creation. I’m “getting into character,” and Kay cannot scold.
Early into our marriage whenever Kay and I were having a disagreement she would stick her fingers into her ears and say “Stop shouting. Use your inside voice.” “That’s not shouting, my dear. That’s projecting. I make my living by projecting.” She rolled her eyes then and does so today whenever I use that lame excuse for my increased volume.
On more than one occasion my Outside Voice has usurped my Inside Voice causing, well, consternation. A notable moment was in a church setting years ago when our girls were old enough to be sitting with us in the pew and young enough to be indifferent to the sermon…much like their father on this occasion. When the preacher made an inane doctrinal point that God’s love was contingent on our behavior and the performing of good works, I took umbrage.
The preacher’s line went something like, “Belief in Jesus is well and good, but you have to earn your place in heaven with good works.” Silence was not an option. I looked at our little darlings seated between Kay and me, happily playing Tic-Tac-Toe on the church bulletin, and said, “Girls, what he just said is a lie.”
When a stage whisper is properly applied and used in the correct setting, it is for everyone in the theatre to hear what was said. The game of Tic-Tac-Toe halted in mid-contest, their little heads popped up like gophers, and two pairs of eyes looked at me as if their father had use profanity in church. Trouble was, other congregants in a multi-pew, 360 degree radius also registered their shock at my distempered remark. Heads turned. Faces scowled. My stage whispered comment had raised some hackles.
It’s easy to imagine Kay’s reaction; from shock to “As soon as I get you home, I’m gonna kill you,” in only a millisecond. When it comes to speaking my mind at inappropriate times, I have racked up more “fails” in the pass/fail grading system, whether I speak at full vocal projection or sotto voce. I am learning, but there’s still work to be done. And in case you were wondering that church door has not been darkened by my shadow since.
